Have you ever had a problem with social phobia? That is that anxiety that occurs when we are in certain circumstances with other people. Some people feel that when they are with strangers that certain things might happen; they suddenly might look stupid or be rejected by the crowd or people might talk about them or they just don’t know how to fit in, or they won’t be liked? All kinds of thoughts occur, but really what’s going on underneath all that is a sense of self judgment – a lot of judging and anticipating humiliation and disapproval. That can be a very traumatic, repeating phobia where the anxiety comes up and the only thing I want to do is try to get away – I want to take “flight” , fear is there. I don’t want to go there or stay very quiet in the background, I want to suppress and get away from anything that might make that anxiety worse.
So I wonder if in this moment you can allow yourself to explore that sense of trauma that tends to repeat at a certain level of our brain where we actually feel really at risk and so insecure about “something is going to happen to humiliate me” or to “embarrass me”, or “I’m going to look so bad in front of all these people I don’t know.” “I just want to run for safety”, “I want to go to a safe place” and “I just want to run for safety, a safe place, run home”, or something like that – AVOID.
Can you welcome that just for a moment, can you welcome that feeling that sometimes generates when you're just really afraid of other people or situations where there are other people. Can you allow that? Can you just breathe and get engaged here with your higher cortical center, your sense of presence, or beingness, here now, can you breathe deeply through your feet and up through your head, slowly, slowly breathe and see the room around you, hear the sounds, be present because that’s what the cortex is about, being present. It’s about being present to these feelings that are really just feelings. These are just feelings from certain old, old childhood traumas. You need to be able to feel that with compassion and allowing as opposed to judging it and running away from it and being afraid of it, and thinking it is the end of the world, and getting a very busy mind trying to manage it.
Just for now could you let go of needing to figure any part of it out because it is an old, old traumatic feeling? Could you just allow it to be what you used to feel in your youth or in your childhood? Could you allow it right now to simply be something that’s really a memory of feelings – it’s a memory episode that you don’t need to change, you just need to soothe and allow? You need to be kind to it. Could you allow it? Could you let it go? Would you let it go? And when?
It is not about pushing away the feelings or about not liking anything, although you might feel that. It’s about learning how to really be here like you would with a little child, soothing, just being kind, there are no answers to be had, as it is just a case of loving kindness in this moment, patience and simply allowing these things to be what they are – old episodes and memories of feelings, the tolerance of it, the kindness, the patience, the remaining in the cortex, present, for this old experience so that you can discern more clearly who you really are right here, right now. And these older feelings are not who you are - they are just memories and old experiences and they are gone, you are fine and you lived through them all. Could you let go of struggling with those olds feelings of fear, embarrassment, and shame? Could you have the tolerance to just allow how phobic those feelings can get – how avoidant they can get? Could you welcome the stress and the strain of all that and just breathe and be patient with it as best you can?
If you do that consistently and you just hang with those feelings and let them be, you are going to find yourself much more in control here now, the person you really are and you will be able to be yourself and have a lot more ease in life - not avoiding, participating in joyful events and it is your birthright to be that! Love, Karyn
I invite you to join my YouTube Channel “Inspired Sedona Method”, where you can follow this release on video with me!